Roots and Wings

When I graduated with my master’s degree, I was nearly 50 years old. I had conjured up the confidence after many life changes- moving halfway across the country, adapting to a new diagnosis of multiple sclerosis, returning to school following a career in teaching, and breathing a sigh of relief that our two kids had reached their teenage years. After the ceremony, my dad gave me a card with a lovely photo of a bird with outstretched wings, gliding past the sun, as it set on a beach. Inside, he wrote simply,

“We’ve given you roots. Now use your wings to soar!”

Throughout the course of my adulthood, I’ve made several important life decisions, ones that were not easy to make on my own. I have my family to thank for helping guide me along the way. When faced with the difficult decision of what to do for work once I realized my beloved teaching career was no longer optimal for my health, I thought about my parents and the roots they had provided me. After 20+ years of childrearing, when my brother and I were in middle and high school and were the only two kids still at home, my mom returned to school to get her master’s degree. Mom was in her 40s when she began to study for the graduate degree that would allow her to start her own professional life. That seemed incredibly brave to me, and I was so proud of her. Of course, this paved the road for me to follow in her footsteps. However, it encouraged me to think about a whole lot more…

My mom’s tireless commitment to the six of us provided me with a strong foundation in life. She was and still is, the most selfless person I know. I have always marveled at the way she managed the household, with six kids, our dad, four grandparents, and house all requiring constant attention. Not to mention taking care of herself (which I know she certainly didn’t do enough of)! Her dedication instilled in me the sense of security I needed to take risks and try new things. So, I learned to trust myself, to be curious, and while not ready to spread my wings yet, I did learn to stretch them a little more each year, to explore the world around me. It was during my high school years when she was in school that I remember growing the most. I was coming into my own, while my mom came into her own in a totally new way. Together, we challenged our boundaries, our limits, and our strengths.

School was the easy part for me. A lifelong learner, I was almost always ready for a fresh cognitive challenge. It was going back out into the world with a new career that I was anxious about. I had decided to look for work in the nonprofit sector. My Dad, who started his own educational publishing company, knew nothing better. After a successful career in business, when he gave me that card, I knew he believed I was ready. He reminded me of the values, skills, and love of learning he and my Mom had instilled in us and explained how I could transfer them to my new job. We spoke of how my multiple sclerosis could held me reimagine how I approach my work. And he encouraged me to always take care of myself, that this is what’s most important. This summer, my Dad reinforced how proud he is of me. My launch of a new business makes me the fifth of his six kids in addition to him and my Mom to go into business for ourselves. He knows me well enough to understand the confidence and courage this took and has expressed his admiration for the resilience I have shown. This vote of confidence is invaluable to me.

Clearly, I don’t require the same type of support from my parents as I did when I was young. However, the secure foundational roots and strong wings of self-determination that they did provide me (and continue to do at 85 years), deepen and broaden into all I aspire to do. I will never forget my childhood struggles, my low self-esteem, my lack of understanding of who I was. At times, these questions sneak back into my mind, my heart, my soul. When the new roads I come to do not provide a clear path, I look to my decades of lived experience to guide me. I will always have my metaphorical home to return to, thanks to my parents’ never-ending love.

And so, giving children roots and wings remains not only an essential lesson from my younger years, but also one that my husband and I strived to instill deep within our son and daughter. Both are venturing out into the world and beginning to spread their wings. Every day brings a new adventure, and my husband and I are thrilled to be part of many of these exciting times. As a couple, we continue to learn both about ourselves and each other. He grew up an only child. I can only imagine how he must have felt when first introduced to my large family! Our different upbringings continue to challenge us in our parenting skills, but we are stronger because of it.

For these reasons and more, I strive to help your family experience the safety and security necessary for all its members to flourish. Having accomplished this, you will be all the better for it, as the whole is stronger than the sum of its parts. I feel this to be especially true for families. Let my supportive hands inspire the

…planting of vigorous seeds,

…nourishing of clean water and nutrients,

…sprouting of deep roots, 

…broadening of sturdy trunk,

…stretching out of new branches,

…breathing of fresh green foliage,

…budding of colorful blossoms and sweet fruits,

…spreading of determined wings, and

… soaring to new heights,

for you and your children. Once you cultivate a foundation of love, hope, and connection, the beauty of flourishing is yours to reap!